And Shine Heaven Now

A subset of the fan stuff page, this handy list of warning signs will let you know if you're getting a little too fannish.

You Know You Read Shine Too Much When...

  1. . . .you're confused when your friends remind you that Integra never *really* got drunk and ordered Alucard to kiss her.
  2. . . . and you don't believe them.
  3. . . . until you watch the series again.
  4. . . . thrice.
  5. . . . and then you write an angry letter to Gonzo Animation (because you have no idea who else to write to) telling them that it SHOULD happen.
  6. . . . you do this twenty-five times.
  7. . . . and they finally give in and promise to put it into the second season.
  8. . . . and then you urge Erin to sue them for stealing her idea.
  9. . . . because you now think Erin Ptah the Integra Fangirl created Shine before Hellsing ever happened, and Kouta Hirano is just a doujinshi-ka.
  10. . . . even though she's an Integra Fangirl.
  11. . . . you're firm in your belief that they should make the When Fangirls Attack arc into a Hellsing series.
  12. . . . you're writing a profile for Integra on your Hellsing fanpage, and you put "Favourite movie: Disney's Beauty and the Beast".
  13. . . . you're angry when you can't find screenshots of Integra in her blue dress on any Hellsing fanpages.
  14. . . . and when you cosplay as her, it's blue dress all the way.
  15. . . . you think Integra's dream in the surgery room is "wrong" because it doesn't include the part about fangirls.
  16. . . . you post on your friendly local Hellsing messageboard asking for people who can send you the manga pages with the fangirl kareoke.
  17. . . . you think it's actually possible for someone to force Integra into a Playboy Bunny outfit. (--Caitlin)
  18. . . . and you want to find out who did it so you can give them your undying gratitude.
  19. . . . after no one can send you the fangirl kareoke manga pages, you write to the publishers of the Hellsing manga asking them to put in the cute Sunday Editions back into mass-market production.
  20. . . . and are shocked that they have no idea what you're talking about.
  21. . . . and that they speak very little English.
  22. . . . because they should, after all! SHINE is in English!
  23. . . . you can imagine Alucard with brown eyes.
  24. . . . you think Alucard should dress up as Pikachu more often, and even make a guest appearance on the show Pokémon.
  25. . . . you see Beauty and the Beast, and think of Integra and Alucard. (--Vertigo)
  26. . . . and not just think of them; you actually believe that Disney made the movie in tribute to the couple.
  27. . . . your desktop is a Shine Halloween special desktop.
  28. . . . and you've configured your icons to look like the Hellsingpuffs.
  29. . . . and your pointer is a bottle of champagne.
  30. . . . you have Erin's artwork all over the walls of your bedroom.
  31. . . . and your living room.
  32. . . . and the windows of your mother's car.
  33. . . . and you scream at people for insulting the Great Erin's art when they ask if you drew it.
  34. . . . or if they ask if it's from the anime/manga.
  35. . . . you E-mail Erin asking where you can buy Shine merchandise.
  36. . . . and you ask her what she's talking about when she says that you can't make money off something that wasn't your idea.
  37. . . . because Shine WAS her idea.
  38. . . . then you offer to manufacture some for her.
  39. . . . and you get mad when she declines.
  40. . . . until you realize that your merchandise would never be worthy of Shine.
  41. . . . then you find Hellsing merchandise, and are mad that they can make money off it and Erin can't.
  42. . . . because their stupid toys don't do the characters justice.
  43. . . . you spend your days tracing Erin's pictures rather than drawing your own.
  44. . . . and fanart used to be your favourite activity.
  45. . . . but now it's just Shine fanart.
  46. . . . you spend your entire day browsing Shine.
  47. . . . you cry on Saturdays because there's no updates.
  48. . . . and if an update is ever even a few hours late, you have a hissy fit.
  49. . . . you submit a guest strip.
  50. . . . or two.
  51. . . . or thirty.
  52. . . . you cry when one of them gets posted because that means a day without Erin's fantabulous artwork.
  53. . . . but you still keep submitting them.
  54. . . . you spend two hours composing a list called "You know you read Shine too much when . . ." on Notepad.
  55. . . . that progressively grows from three points to three pages.
  56. . . . and you keep going, because you just thought of that crazy Shine-obsessed thing you did the other day.
  57. . . . and when you think of one you haven't done, you say, "hey, that's a good idea!"
  58. . . . you go into withdrawal after a day without reading Shine.
  59. . . . you've dropped all other reading pursuits in favour of Shine.
  60. . . . including Dracula.
  61. . . . and mandatory school reading.
  62. . . . and the Hellsing manga.
  63. . . . and all your other favourite webomics.
  64. . . . and you stop writing your own until you can acquire Erin's talent and humour.
  65. . . . which is never, because you're positive that Erin is the best artist on Earth.
  66. . . . because she is!
  67. . . . you take Helena's reviews to heart, and make a point of reading everything she recommends.  (--"Angeldust" Andersong)
  68. . . . you start smoking cigars so that you can quit for thirty days.
  69. . . . you go caroling with your friends and cosplay as Hellsing characters.
  70. . . . you insist on taping the New Year's Eve ball drop and watching it at five AM.
  71. . . . you catch your mom singing The Twelve Days of Christmas and are shocked at how much she'smutilated the lyrics -- there are thirteen days, and what's with these 'lords a-leaping'?
  72. . . . the one thing you request for Christmas is blood. Integra's blood specifically, but any blood will do really.
  73. . . . Reseda is a real Hellsing character, darn it!
  74. . . . you break your mom's Christmas gift to you (Great-Grandma's antique ornaments) by using Seras' ghoul-killing technique on the wrapping.
  75. . . . you insist that you get to listen to the Queen's Christmas message. So what if you don't even know what her name is?!
  76. . . . you make a point of downloading every song used for the HellSING! parodies, even if you detest the person who sang it with a passion.
  77. . . . you sign the guestbook with comments about specific strips.  (--The doujinshi-ka)
  78. . . . multiple times.  (--ibid.)
  79. . . . you print out the picture of Alucard in the Pikachu outfit and give it to those who "don't like anime" because they've only seen Pokémon.  (--Misali the pagan vampire tracker)


Have some ideas of your own? Want to add to the list? Feel free to send them in!

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